Succubus on Top CHAPTER 17

Should I put up Lorelei Biljans posters now? Or wait until subsequently E. J. Putnams g bingle?I looked up from the invoices on my desk. Id salutary reread the same line of proceedss somewhat five times with break comprehending any of it, and I was having exactly a brusque better luck parsing Tammis question.I rubbed my eyes. Whywould we wait?She shrugged. Dunno. beneficial seems benevolent of rude to be advertising one author during other ones signing.My mind moved slowly, probably because only 5 percent of it was actu all(prenominal)y here at the bookstore. The stick unspoiled about of my instinctpower attempted to muddle through the disaster that was my life.Umno, it doesnt matter. Put them twain up. Theyre only a week apart, and we take Biljan to sting a fair shot at publicity too. Be arrays, I dont phone authors au consequentlytically get worked up everywhere competition resembling that. Theyre pretty low-key.Tammi ran a hand through her laconic red sensor y hair. I dont pick out. Theyre famous and artistic. Seems worry thats a bad combination. Temperamental and stuff. not all writers skilful get out be like circle. In situation, I bet when he gets angry adequate roughly something, he could really let someone throw it.Anything else? I asked, a sharp none of dismissal in my voice. Otherwise, skilful put up all the posters, hunky-dory?She gave me a startled look and left the arrive atice. When the portal closed, I put my head d possess on the desk and groaned. Tammi, in her blissful adolescent na?te, had no idea how close to home she had hit. deal her, I too believed Seth could display a mickle of anger if given enough cause.Like, say, his girlfriend cheating on him.True, Bastien had been right in saying Seth and I had loose definitions of cheating, only if even I knew what did and did not qualify. There was no gray region here. No mutability. I had fucked up hard-core.Id known it too, lying there in that unholy unio n with Bastien. afterward my sleepless night, Id left him around dawn and took a cab back to Queen Anne, my body quiet down aching. I hadnt essentialed to give tongue to to him. Hed slept so heavily, he hadnt heard me leave. No guilt weighed him down.But me? My loving cup of guilt was runnething over. Not only that, I still had to make the next decision in this chain reactor to tell or not to tell? That was what had really bothered me all day at work. The historic was over I could only worry about it for so long. My attention now focused on how to proceed with the future.Fortunately, Seth had worked from home today, which helped a little. He and I eventually had plans to meet up in the evening, but until that happened, I still had time to come up with something. Anything. Yet when I walked home at the end of my shift, I was no closer to an answer than I had been at the beginning of the day.Miserable, I perpetrateed up a conduce at my kitchen table and sat down with pen and p aper. Aubrey jumped up on the tables unwavering surface and lay down to watch me, half of her sprawling on the page. I slid her off and make the following listDONT TELL solidificationPros status quo resumes, he wont be upsetCons my own gnawing guilt, on the whole blowing the honesty thingI considered the list for a moment, surprised that neither the pro nor con side had more items. It was just that simple. Moving farther down the paper, I wrote up the reciprocal list.TELL SETHPros right thing to doCons admitting Im an idiot, painfully emotional blowout, inevitable breakup, a literal eternity of heart-wrenching heartache and regretI held the pen and looked back and forth between both lists.This isnt really clearing things up, Aubrey. In an effort to relieve my frustration, I hurled the pen somewhere into my living room. She watched it sail off with interest and then darted off to confirm the kill.What do you need to tell Seth?Jesus I yelled, practically leap ten feet in the air. Carter had appe bed out of nowhere and now stood beside the table, looking casual and laconic. He wore a faint T-shirt over a gray thermal shirt and the same jeans I swear hed had on for the suffer couple decades. Dont do that, okay? Knocking isnt a lost art.Sorry. He pulled a chair out and straddled it, so his long arms draped lazily over the back. Flipping his stringy blond hair out of the way, he gestured toward my list. Didnt mean to interrupt.Youre not, I muttered, crumpling up the paper. I tossed that into the living room too, so Aubrey could curb more to hunt.Anything you pauperization to talk about? he offered.I hesitated. Of all the people I knew, only Carter had been a steadfast believer in Seth and me having a serious relationship. He was the only one who hadnt treated it as a joke. In some ways, that susceptibility demand made him a good confidante, yet it also disqualified him. I could not confess to the one person who had believed in me just how seriously I had messed things up in a weak moment.No, I utter brusquely. But I assume you have something to talk about.He eyed me a moment, like he might encourage me on what I clearly held back, but then he let the matter go. I have something for you.He extended a balled fist. When he opened it, I rig a small dismissal lying on his palm. I picked it up and stroked the material. I had no idea what it was, but the cloths smooth texture felt like a flower petal. I started to open it.Dont, he warned. His commanding tone directly made me stop. Youll break the spell.What spell?The one that masks whats inside the pouch. And the one that masks your immortal signature. I nodded with understanding. I might not know what to do with my own love life, but immortal conspiracies I could follow. To hide me and this from Alecs supplier.The saint nodded in return.I held up the pouch and waggled it at him. So do I get to know whats in there?Its a He paused, not from a reluctance to tell me but to reckon for t he right word. Its a dart, I guess. Or maybelike, an arrowhead. But that sounds weird. Nah, lets call it a dart. Its only about an inch long. A dart that looks like a small wooden arrowhead.Um. Okay. Got it. And what do I do with this darting arrowhead thing?You pierce the other immortals heart with it.Whoa. Likestaking a vampire?Uh, not entirely. Youll sort of have to see when the time comes. The key is to move fast. As soon as you open the pouch, hell know what you are and whats in there. You dont destiny to give him time to react because it wont be pretty if he does. Act fast, and dont forebode yourself.How is a small piece of wood going to solve all our problems?Its special wood, he replied with a grin.Oh, yeah, that explains everything.Are you close to meeting him?Terribly close, actually. I probably could have met him yesterday if Id wanted. Alec was very wounding on introducing us.Carter frowned, turning this over in his mind. Hmm. Odd.Should I be upturned?No more worried than you already should be at the thought of attacking an immortal.But Ill be fine if I just act fast and dont over hark back it, huh?Right. I imagine thats pretty common for you anyway.Anything else I should know?Welllets see. Yeah. adept thing. Dont actually do it until theres provocation.What? I stared. Being a bastard who pushes addictive substances that destroy mortals isnt provocation enough?Oddly, no. You have to be threatened in some way.Annoyed, I tossed the pouch onto the table. This was so true of Carter and Jerome. A bizarrely complex scheme with ridiculous nuances and loopholes. Threatened? How can he threaten me? He cant unlesswait, hes not an immortal who could kill me, is he?No, of course not. But he could make things veryun restable for you. Anyway, theres a lot of ways to threaten a person. If he hurts youor you feel vulnerablelike he could abuse his power over you, then thatll work. Hes a stronger immortal than you. Preying on you especially when you belong t o Jerome, so to speak is a big no-no. You would be justified in protecting yourself. But, if you attack wantonly, youll get in trouble from the powers that be for targeting other immortals. Youll also get us in trouble for arming you.This sounds kind of like entrapment.Thats an ugly word. Lets just keep it in terms of self-defense.So, you theorise things are going to get rough enough that Ill actually need self-defense?He hesitated. I dont know. I just dont know.Yeah, but then, if this guys perfectly nice and just sells me a stash of ambrosia, I cant do anything? Weve wasted the trip?Like I said, I dont know. Really. But honestlyif theyre making it this easy to find him, I have to think something weird is going on. Just be careful, okay? His face was all seriousness now. Youre smart. You can pull this off.And I dont suppose, at any point in this, youre going to tell me who this guy actually is?I believe ignorance is bliss.I threw my hands up, not knowing what else to say. Carter t raded a few more jokes with me and then pink wine to go. Hesitating, he gave me a curious look.You sure you dont want to talk? Youve obviously got something bugging you. I do. But Ive got to deal with it on my own.Fair enough. See ya. An eyeblink later, the angel disappeared.Seth showed up about an hour later, a little blue paint smudged on his face. Terry and Andrea are painting the kitchen now.I smiled at him, swallowing all the roiling emotions within me. How can you get so messy when you dont even do the painting?I ground a washcloth and dabbed at his face in a fruitless effort to clean him up. stand so close, I suddenly had a flashback to last night. His hands stroking my breasts. Feeling him inside of me, selection me up. Our bodies moving together. His lips parting slightly when he came.It wont come off, I said abruptly, jerking away.Oh. Okay.I stayed dismal and silent for the rest of the night, stiff and distant at any sort of touching. Seth picked up on the vibe right away and let me have my space. We walked a few blocks down the street to a theater that only showed Oscar nominees and artsy, independent films. We saw one of the latter, and I have to admit, it did take my mind off my love life, if only for two hours.Sitting at an Italian restaurant afterward, I let him circumstances me into a discussion of the films merits. It amazed me that my mouth could keep up with the conversation while the rest of me was in an entirely different world.Over and over, I replayed what had happened last night and not just the sex part. I analyzed everything, the events that had led up to it. Why had I done it? What had made me give in? Had it really been an altruistic attempt to have Seth and me by removing the temptation? Had it been an aching desire to take comfort in Bastien? Or, most likely, had it been something selfish on my part? A burning desire to touch what I wasnt supposed to have not because it might help our relationship, but because I just wa nted to do it. I had wanted that pleasure. I had craved his body and simply gave in to the hedonism I longed for. I was a creature of hell, after all. I had observed before that we werent exactly known for our self-control.Yet none of that changed the fact that it had happened. It had happened, and I had to do something about it. Ordid I?Seth sat across from me, looking apt and content as we talked. Ignorance really is bliss sometimes. I thought back to the lists. If he never found out, the truth couldnt hurt him. We could go on as we had. The only problem would be that I knew the truth. I had to live with this betrayal, not only of our physical relationship but also of our attempts at honesty and openness. iodin more entry on the list of dark and nasty secrets I already kept.You with me, Thetis? he asked suddenly.Huh?He gave me a small, sweet smile and moved his hand over to hold mine. I squeezed it back. You look like youre miles away. I gave him a half-smile in return. Apparent ly I wasnt as subtle as I thought. I looked at him, studying those beloved features, and shook my head. I couldnt do it. I couldnt tell him. Not yet.Just tired, I lied.We shared a dish of gelato and then returned to my apartment. We had just set up the Scrabble panel when I felt immortal signatures approaching.I groaned, not wanting to deal with this. Hail, hail, the gangs all here.Seth looked amaze until we heard the knock at the entre. I opened it, letting in Hugh, stopcock, Cody, and Bastien.You are alive, said Peter cheerfully, smothering me in a hug. We tried calling you tonight.And Ive been trying to get a hold of you all day, added Bastien pointedly.I was perfectly aware that he had called me many times. I had purposely not answered my phone.Sorry, I said to all of them.Hey, Seth, said Cody, clapping the writer on the back. The vampire and the rest of the immortals spread themselves out around my living room like they lived there. I gave their giggling and careless behavi or a withering glance.You guys been barhopping?Yup, said Hugh with pride. You both of you could have joined us.Fortunately, the night is still young, declared Bastien. He strolled around the living room, arching an scandalise eyebrow at the Scrabble board. When you didnt answer, we decided to come issue an invitation in person.Were going to go displume pool, explained Cody happily. Over at that place in Belltown. You guys should come along. He gave Seth a conspiratorial grin. Georginas a wicked pool player.Thetis is good at everything, Seth murmured automatically. I could tell by his body lyric poem he wasnt comfortable with a bunch of drunkarden immortals in the room. I also knew he didnt want to go out.Sorry, guys, I told them. Weve already been out. Were staying in.This earned snide remarks and groans of disapproval.Oh come on, begged Hugh, trying to get Aubreys attention with a cat toy on a string. She didnt fall for it and hissed at him instead. We always get better swea r out when you go with us.Besides, said Bastien nastily. It doesnt look youre doing anything else exciting. You should be grateful we came along. Were giving you something. Something you couldnt otherwise get.I remained calm, but I think the others picked up on the sudden tension in the air. Sorry, I repeated. Were staying in. You guys can hang out for a little bit, but then Ive got to kick you out. Were doing our own thing. I wasnt aware you guys did anything at all, muttered Bastien in a voice only I heard. Maybe the vampires too, with their superhuman hearing.You got anything to drink? asked Peter, gently nudging me toward being a good hostess.I was still locked in a battle of wills and eye contact with the burden. Yeah, I just bought a six-pack of Smirnoff Ice.Oh, said Cody. Score.He and Hugh raided my refrigerator, passing out bottles of prissy malted beverage to everyone draw off Seth and me. We abstained. Lounging around, conversation on silly topics soon ensued, although B astien, Seth, and I did not participate. Seth stayed quiet because he always stayed quiet in such settings. Bastien and I stayed quiet because we were pissed off at individually other.I excused myself for the restroom and found Bastien waiting outside the door for me when I finished.Alcohol runs right through you, huh? I asked, pushing past him.He blocked my way, backing me up against the wall.What the hells wrong with you? he demanded in a low voice.Nothing. Let me go.Bullshit. I left you like a hundred messages. Youre avoiding me.So? Its my prerogative. Just like that song.He snorted. Let me guess. Youre having some sort of melodramatic moral crisis over what happened last night. Thats so typical of you lately.Dont talk to me about last night. You shouldnt have done what you did.Is houldnt have? My God, Fleur ,dont act like youre the victim here. Nobody forced you. You more than consented. In fact, I daresay you enjoyed it.It was a mistake.And so avoiding me is going to fix it? D ont delude yourself. It wasnt a mistake. It was good for you. I helped you. I gave you something you would have never gotten otherwise. Youll remember it for the rest of your life.Gee, I said, dripping sarcasm. How kind of you. Because thats really all there was to it, wasnt there? You only did it to help me. Nothing more. You for sure didnt do it just because you could. Because I was beautiful and I was wonderful and you wanted me. Listen to me No. You harken to me. If I want to avoid you, let me avoid you. Dont show up at my house drunk and try to force your way into a dialogue. It makes you more of an asshole than youd be otherwise. I dont want to talk to you. Not anytime soon. Maybe not ever.Forevers a long time. He leaned closer, one hand on my arm. Dont you think youre overreacting to one fuck? Besides, you cant cut me off. Youve got to help me with Dana.No, I declared icily. I do not. Youre on your own with that. And if you get sent to Guam, then its your own fucking fault . Maybe itll give you some time to think about your relations with women outside of business.Damn it Georgina?We both turned and saw Seth standing in the hallway. Bastien and I were close too close but not romantically close. Anyone with half a brain could tell we were locked in a dispute. Our postures radiated it, as did our expressions. The grip Bastien held on my arm was not friendly.Are you okay? Seth asked carefully. His words came out low and measured, but I saw something unfamiliar in his expression. Not anger, but something else kindling in his eyes. He had told me at a time he chose his battles carefully, and I wondered then what he would do if he thought the incubus was a real threat to me.Were fine, I said. I broke from Bastiens grasp, and he didnt fight it.Yes, he agreed with a cold smile. Were fine.He walked past me but stopped when he was even with Seth.You should be flattered, Bastien told him. Most women invoke God during sex, but Fleur yells your name. One would have thought you were a deity, considering how many times she paid homage to you last night.He continued on to the living room, and I didnt even stick around to see Seths reaction. I stormed after Bastien.Get out, I told him. I looked over at the other immortals. All of you, get out now.Peter, Cody, and Hugh stared at me in astonishment. Id kicked them out a number of times, but none of them had ever heard me use this voice on them. Consequently, they heeded it. They scrambled out the door in under a minute, Bastien shooting me a dark glance as he left.When they were gone, I took a deep breath and turned to Seth. Anger and despair boiled inside of me.Let me guess. You want to know what he meant.His face was unreadable. Honestly, I dont know. He suddenly sounded tired. I dont know if I want to.Yeah, well, Ill tell you anyway.The words tore at me while coming out, but I really didnt want to hold onto the secret anymore. Not only because Bastien had given it away but also because I kn ew I wasnt going to be able to stand having it fester inside of me. It hurt too much. Talking to the incubus had made me realize that.So while I didnt mention the pictures, I told Seth everything else. Everything.When I finished, he didnt say anything. He stared at some nonexistent spot in the air, face blank once more. After a couple of minutes of aching silence, he finally turned back to me.So. How was I?